Wet Cat Posters

Why do so many people find it amusing to look at pictures of cats being ladled out of a pot of spaghetti, doused with a bucket of water, or wearing a football helmet made out of a grapefruit rind? My scientific survey shows that 28.8% of U.S. citizens paste these photos to their office doors or refrigerators or frame them for their desks. We all know that there are cat people and there are dog people, and clearly cat people make up the majority of compromised-cats photo fans. But why are these images so funny to them?

Is it because cats are the most humor-impaired creatures on the planet? A dog has a good sense of humor, by contrast. If you pounce on the floor and say “arf” to a dog, it will paw at the ground, jump all over you, and generally take up the game with as close to a giggle and guffaw as you can get. A cat will scratch your eye out and dangle it in front of your still seeing eye before you can say “meow,” “whuh?” or pray to God that your epidermis may be spared a ninja hailstorm. A cat’s idea of a good joke is to bite the head off a squirrel and put an acorn in its paws.

So why the wet cat posters? My theory is that people are kind of mad at the cats that they love so much, and it feels like vicarious revenge to see a cat bear the brunt of a stupid prank. Say, a loving cat owner bends down and says “Hello putty tat, come here so mommy can scwatch your widdle tummy” and the cat says, as is its wont, “F you, I gotta go rip the hellouta some $80-a-yard drape fabric.” Well then, the cat loving person can just walk over to the fridge, see the picture of a cat looking like it just survived the Exxon Valdiz of water spills and all the anger melts into renewed love for Felix.